Perceivings of our own selves

Being who we wish to be with the contrast of  who we want to be *around* is difficult. Finding who we are and then bringing that into the relationships in questions, letting people value you for who you are is truly wonderful. One of the many methods for determining ourselves, then, is not whether we fit in, but where we fit in and if we like it there.  Change occurs when we become aware of ourselves and our honest position in life and seek to improve it; to remove those things from it that we see as opposed to those things that frustrate our personal desires. Desires gained through much living and experiencing the pains and joys and noise and silence of life. The quantity of these experiences required before change, or the quality, is unique to the individual. Poignance is open to perspective. Life is full enough for all, however, and repentance is a process all must undertake. When and where are variables left to us and our God (Who is fully aware of our needs).
If we consider the difference between the changed (humbled, meek, gracious). And the unchanged, the experiences might be stark or non existent. War, pain, or even dismemberment are not determining factors for such wisdom. Experience is therefore no dictator of greatness. We are fully endowed with the ability to change who we are based on our circumstances and our understanding